ive lost all control. i need help. i can barley look at myself. i dont even know how it got this bad.

current weight:105.2

i need help.

cw:99

finally im back to an okay weight. sorry i havent posted in so long everytime i actually did have time to get on xanga my brother would be in the room and i cant have him snooping around. at school everyone keeps asking why im not eating. but all i can think of is that when i get home from school i do eat alot, but no too much ive been under 500 (mostly) each day, except for a few days when my parents made me eat. so its been pretty good. im tryin to loose more though:)

other than food- life has kind of sucked my boyfriend is back in juvie just for the weekends. and my best friends parents are getting a divorce, and he has to move away, which is going to suck horribly also because i kind of have a small crush on him, and im going to miss him so much.

i fucked up last saturday and smoked, but i got it all out of my system by wednesday. but i think it encourages me to smoke more because i think i would get away with it. but i cant think like that or ill get in trouble. im trying to be good. i realized what a stoner i became over the summer. and now everyone at school always asks if i can get them any or if i wanna smoke with them, which i do, but i shouldnt.

hopefully ill be down to 96 by the end of the month. that really is my goal. mostly because i have faith i can do it. and i found this girl at my school who is around my height and so incredibly skinny. she told me how once she got down to 86. it was definentally inspiring.sorry this post is so long i will try to update daily

goodluck girls stay strongggggg:)